Goodness Sakes!

Robby has attended daycare/preschool since he was a little over a year old. It was one of the hardest things for me to go back to work and not be a stay at home working mom. I'm lucky, as I own my own business and have some flexibility with hours. I know not every woman is so fortunate.

As you know, we switched schools about seven months ago. I have to say that I love this new school so much and I think we made the right choice. He has two certified teachers with him all day now and - get this - one of them is a man. This is the first time I had run across a male teacher in a preschool. Teacher Mike is incredible! Last week, the kids were lining up in the hall to go outside and one little boy was yelling and excited. Teacher Mike said, "Excuse me! Are you physically in pain?" "No." the little boy said. "Is the building on fire?" he asked. "No." the little boy said. "Did you just see Elvis?" Teacher Mike asked. "No." the boy said again. "Then there is no reason to be yelling in the hall!" Teacher Mike laughed. He is great with the kids and they adore him. He tells Robby he loves him when Robby leaves to go home every night.

The school also has a live webcam in all the rooms and playground. I can log in during the day and actually see Robby. That's been wonderful!

I guess my only complaint I have about the current school is security. Yeah, that's a big one. They have an electronic key system. Parents are given a card that will open the door when the card is placed in front of a sensor. The school policy is that if you lose your card, you pay a $10 replacement fee. Over the past few weeks I noticed that most parents do not use cards. They knock on the door until someone answers it. I've seen parents hold the door open for people that they do not know. They let strangers (without any kids with them) into the building without a thought. When this happens to me I always get a teacher and let the teacher let them in. I endure the glares and dirty looks from parents I don't know. I cannot for the life of me understand why they would be upset another parent is thinking about security in a building where their kids are.

I wrote Dumbledore (director of the school) an email letting her know that this was happening. I told her I felt it was a tragedy waiting to happen. I offered to help her find a solution at no or little cost. She responded with a one line email that said she would write a note to parents and thanks for my goodness.

Goodness? I see no goodness in wanting to make my kid and all the kids there safe. When you look at a mama bear growling to protect her cub, "goodness" is not what comes to mind.
She wrote a note to parents about 3 days later. A new note is posted on the door telling parents not to let anyone in they do not know. At least she did something.

Robby is downstairs in the school; far away from the front door. If he was in one of the upstairs rooms by the front door I probably would have pulled him out of the school.

Let's hope some things change now and every parent thinks about the security of their child rather than being late to work or getting home to cook dinner.

Five Things

Five things that bother me more than they should (in no particular order):

1. Stuffed animals in the back window of cars. I don't understand this. I've seen 30 or more sun-faded little animals on top of the back seat of many cars. Why?
2. Cabinet doors that are left open.
3. Toilet paper coming from the bottom of the roll instead of the top. I have been know to change the roll in other people's homes.
4. When I go to use 3 tab position file folders and someone has used all of the right position tab folders leaving only center and left tab position folders. Why don't they package these already collated?
5. Socks that are for shoe sizes 9 or less. That's all you can buy if you are a woman. Someone could make a million dollars marketing socks for women whose shoe size is 10 or higher.

Shame on Maine!!!

This is why the Founding Fathers insisted on separation of church from state. This is how this country was founded. They left England for this very reason.

I do not feel secure in my freedom, my basic rights or my child's future today. I am mad and I am scared. I think you should be too.

Equal rights, for all. PERIOD. Let's evolve as a society. Don't you people watch Star Trek?

If you think that these religious leaders are doing anything but selling fear and hate all tied up with a pretty red bow that says "Jesus" on it, you need to pay attention because they will come after you next. They've already started coming for women and their rights. All in the name of God.

And what about the children you say? Read this. I can't say it any better.

Please. Please. PLEASE! Do something today. Talk about this with someone; with everyone!
The time has come. Let's take the gloves off and stand for what is right and what this country was meant to be. My child, your child, their children all deserve the best world we can give them. If you can stop using Styrofoam, you can at least quit buying into all the hate and fear!

Things You Never Knew You Needed

I have been fighting sinus and/or lung infections for the better part of a month. I am so tired of being sick and having no energy. It has triggered my allergies into full bloom as well. My left eye has taken to swelling to a size larger than my right eye. I look like Ferb.

"It's not a tumor" and I have the cat-scan to prove it. That being said, it seems petty to complain about allergies and infections that can be cured with drugs from your local drug store. In fact your local drug store has everything you never knew you needed. Observe:

Count Chocula Lip Balm

How many times have you wished for something that tastes like imitation chocolate in a small tube so you could apply it to your lips?

Long Term Relationships for your hair.

The marketing campaigns targeting horny single women have really gotten out of hand.

Devil-faced pacifier

Your baby is not cute enough with a normal pacifier? Going to a Marilyn Manson concert with the little one? This is a MUST have! Satan gear for your baby. Has Pat Robertson seen this one yet?

Edible birthday cards for your dog

As my little brother says, "It is amazing the things people would rather have than money".

A Snuggie for your dog.

How many times has your dog been sitting on the couch under a blanket wishing his paws were free to talk on the phone or knit a keen Christmas sweater for himself? Can you see the "Kill me. Please." look in his eyes?

I think the only reason the store had all of these things is because people out of their right minds with diseases come in and are forced to browse the merchandise while waiting.

I am proud to say that I only walked out of the store with antibiotics.

That Snuggie would be super cute on my brother's beagle though.

Channeling Annie Kinsella

I cannot believe that the summer is almost over! Where did it go? We had a six day stretch of record high temps but other than that it's been a cool (cruel?) summer.

School started yesterday in our neck of the woods. Robby is one year away from Kindergarten. (Is is Kindergarden in the US? I'll stick with the original German spelling.) Our assigned public school does not have full-time Kindergarten. They have two sessions, both 2 days a week with an third day thrown in every other week. This means that we will still have to shell out money for daycare/preschool for another year. The daycare center he is attending now offers a Kindergarten class with an accredited teacher and everything. If we had to make the decision today, he'd stay in daycare Kindergarten and wait until first grade to go to the public school.

As a parent, how do I know what's best for his education? What research can I do to assure myself I've made an educated and correct decision? I'd like to use the public school system and not just for the financial freedom it will offer. I've heard about charter schools where they are supervised by the government but parents chip in financially. I don't think we have any in our area though. Most private schools here are faith based and very expensive. I am going to check out the Jewish school and some Christian schools though and compare. To be honest though, I feel extremely uncomfortable exposing him to one specific faith and other people's beliefs. Spirituality is important to me and I want it to be important to my kid. How do I accomplish this without exposing him to all the thing I disagree with in the religion I was raised in? These are the questions that keep me up at night. Homeschooling is out of the question for two reasons. One, I want Robby to be smarter than us and two, I don't think I could be his teacher and mom and stay sane.

My plan is to join the PTO (When did it stop being the PTA?) and watch that scene from Field Of Dreams over and over. You know the one. Where Kevin Costner and Amy Madigan are at the PTA meeting and they are discussing banning books from the school. She stands up to defend Terrance Mann and calls Beulah (another parent) Eva Braun and says "At least he's not a book burner you Nazi cow". That's me. Poor Robby....

Damn You PBS!

I know Robby read my last post because he woke up at 1 am this morning and didn't go back to sleep. He was coughing a little, but I think he was really up out of 3 year old spite.

We finally got him down for a nap at 1 pm and I don't think I'm going to wake him up.

And Robby? We're having tomatoes and broccoli for dinner.

Shopping Mall Merit Badge

Tomorrow night is date night for The Papa and I. We are going to a swanky YELP event, as The Papa is an "elite" Yelper. After reading the invitation to the event and realizing just how swanky the place we were going is, I looked into my closet and was terrified. Granted, I had to buy not one, but TWO new dresses just last year for the little brother's wedding. In my defense, it was a summer wedding and this is March and it snowed here just yesterday for crying out loud. Neither of those summer dresses would work. So, after work, I grabbed the kid from school and headed for the local mall. With promises of a McDonald's dinner and play time in the play area, we struck a deal for good behavior while I looked for a dress.

He was an A N G E L, ANGEL, in Macy's. Unfortunately, Mr. Macy thinks that the only dresses people in my size wear should either be boldly floral or a business suit. Off to the next store, only to discover Mr. JC Penney thinks that women in my size look good in polka dots. By this time, I had to say "Get over here, NOW!" several times. I told myself he was hungry and that food would make it better. We headed to the food court and he hoovered up the happy meal. Ahh. We left the food court with much less trauma and headed for the play area. After a good 30 minutes of releasing the massive amount of energy that had been trapped in his little three year old body for over two hours, we headed off to the third, and final store. I had never been in this store, but had walked by it many times and told myself that it was for people MUCH younger than me. (When will I ever learn about judging things I know nothing about?)

I should have known we were in trouble when he ran through the hanging clothes and screamed, "Look Mama! It's a CAR WASH!" at the top of his lungs. I was about to bolt for the car, when there it was. The perfect little black dress. On the clearance rack! I managed to grab his hand and drag him to the dressing room. When I started taking my clothes off, he asked, "Do you have to go potty? There's no potty in here, Mama." That was good for a chuckle or two from the neighboring dressing rooms. They would need to remember just how funny and cute he was just minutes later, as I dragged him back by his feet from crawling under the wall between the rooms.

The dress fit! It was purchased and we headed to the register. I had the clerk in sight and was almost free and clear before he took the sunglasses off of a display and spun the whole thing Ala Pat Sajack. Things flew. Bangles, bobbles and glasses were everywhere. By the time I had them cleaned up and gotten a hold of his hand again, there was a line of three people in front of us. I always knew living with a beagle would prepare me for motherhood. We got in the line and I barked, "SIT!!!" repeatedly until he sat on the floor next to me. Every time he moved, I would just scream, "SIT!!!" again. He managed to rip three leather strips off the tassel of my purse by the time it was our turn.

He cried all the way though the mall, through Macy's and the parking lot to the car. He knew I was mad, and I think he was a little scared at just how mad I was. I can tell you, I was feeling more exhausted than angry, but what he didn't know only hurt him a little and helped me make it to the car. We had a long talk in the car about behavior and respecting other people's needs. I'm sure most of it went over his head, but his emotional response was appropriate. The night was not a total loss though, for I had a little black dress and yet another motherhood merit badge to put on my apron. I am blessed.

Facebook Manifesto

Facebook, in concept is a good idea. It lets you stay in touch with people in your life with quick one or two lines every day (or hour for some) or give someone a “super poke” just to let them know you are thinking about them. In today’s rush and hurry world, it is nice to get at least some connection with the people you care about. Even if you don’t always have time for a long email, phone call or lunch.

As with all other things in life, moderation for facebook is key. I hope this, my Facebook Manifesto, can offer some guidelines. You can slip every once in awhile, but if you have slid down that slippery facebook slope, hopefully you can recognize yourself here and get the help you so desperately need.

If you have over 100 friends on Facebook, you don’t look popular. You look pathetic.

If you update your status more than twice a day, you need to ask yourself two questions.
1. Is this really vital information I am sharing with friends?
2. What can I do in my life to get the connection I crave with people without being this annoying and alone?

If you troll other people’s status updates just for a chance to comment with your witty retort, you need another hobby, or outlet for this creativity.

If you are in a relationship and use facebook to “chat”, email, “hug”, “throw a banana at”, send a “kidnap request” and generally show others how charming you can be when sitting behind a keyboard, you need to assess your relationship and figure out what you are not getting there that is driving you to this behavior.

If you are not in a relationship and do all of these things, you need to know you will never find one of any sustenance on facebook. Move out of your parent’s basement for chrissakes already.

If you are in a relationship with someone who practices this unhealthy facebook behavior, you need to ask yourself two questions.

1. Am I treating them the way I want to be treated? If the answer is no, then you can’t go onto to question 2 until it is yes.

2. Why am I in a relationship with someone who would rather put all their energy into their facebook “friends”?

Socks

OK, what is the deal on socks? I cannot find a decent selection of socks to fit my kid. I finally found some today (at KMart of all places!) that fit him. They are white crew socks, package of seven pairs for $5.99. What if he needs another color besides white? I'd be satisfied with at least one pair of black socks. There are 15,000 choices if you are an infant. Why all the cutesy infant socks? They should be the ones stuck with plain white. It's rare an infant needs socks to match his dress pants for that school play. They don't even walk yet, so the white socks aren't even going to get dirty. Why do they get the black socks and the three year old boys who live to jump in mud get stuck with the white socks?

I saw racks and racks of Dora socks, Hannah Montana socks, sparkly pink, purple, red and green socks. Even socks with fur on the tops. I almost grabbed a pair of Dora socks out of desperation, but the thought of The Papa's head exploding stopped me.

I'm convinced it's a conspiracy. Look at they way they size socks:

Baby - Sock Size 3-4 1/2

Infant - Sock Size 4-5 1/2

Toddler - Sock Size 5-6 1/2

Kids - Sock Size 6-7 1/2

Boys - Sock Size 8 - 13

Today, I discovered Robby is a Kid. Not a toddler anymore, but not yet a boy. Since the sizes have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with shoe size, I had to discover this by sitting my son on a dirty KMart floor and removing his shoe and very small sock and trying them on his wriggling foot. I know I was not the first mom to do this because almost all of the packages had been opened.

I guess I have four choices. I can dress him only in white socks, no matter what color his pants are. I can learn to make socks. I can honor diversity, risk therapy, and dress him in sparkly socks. Or, I can put him in sandals.

Anyone out there know where I can find a pair of black Kids - Sock Size 6-7 1/2 for my son who wears a size 9 shoe?