Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Got Your Number

I have not spoken to The Nanny since early November, when I begged her to call off the lawsuit she filed against The Grandma. I told her we could not talk if there was a lawsuit, as my mom's health was unstable at that point and I might have to take over her affairs. She didn't call it off.

She didn't call for my birthday. She didn't call at Thanksgiving. She didn't call at Christmas. She didn't call when she got my Christmas card with the picture of Robby on Santa's lap. She didn't call when she moved to another state. She didn't call when she turned off her phone and got another number. She didn't call with her new address. She didn't call.

Last week I got her number. I didn't call.

I'm really torn on this one. I know she is suffering from sort form of dementia, but that doesn't make it any easier to understand. I heard from lawyer to lawyer that she never wants to hear from me again. Why? I don't know. I want to hear it from her if she doesn't want me (or Robby) in her life. Just when I convince myself to dial her number, the fear of hearing her say just that stops me.

I know I have to call...eventually.

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